Good afternoon, I hope you guys are having a great afternoon. We have been blessed with great sunshine over the last week and I am thankful to see some sun which has been ages. Currently I am downstairs listening to a sermon while I sip on some coffee as I watch the sunset while writing my blog. So I hope that wherever, whoever you are that you are having a wonderful day. Know that God loves you, he is for you, and he will never leave you nor forsake you. So as I was spending some time with the lord this morning; I was talking to him about marriage and purpose. I was thanking the lord for teaching me how to be single until to him, how to trust him with my life and suddenly an overwhelming sense of understanding came upon me about the power of knowing my purpose before dating or marrying someone. I was thanking God for helping me to understand my purpose because it is in that that I have decided to let go of certain people and relationships that I would have held on to. To say no to certain men that might want to be more than my friends has been really interesting because like many of us we are hoping that this is the one, but I have find out that with the one you will just know and I truly believe that. It is not because at times I am not tempted to say: “well let me check him out and see” No, it is because I have a witness in my spirit that it is a no and that is because I know my purpose and I know what God created me to do.
This is because I know who God has for me, but it was not always like this. I have experienced pain and hurt from broken relationships and after each and every one of them I always felt lost because those relationships where purposeless, neither one of us had direction or knew where we were going, and furthermore it was not built on purpose in God so naturally it was easy for those relationships to end or for either party to give up but it is also heart breaking having to find ourselves spiritually in the middle of nowhere, unable to understand why we are there, how we got there and how all of this could have happened. I know some of you reading this can testify that you have experienced this sort of confusion before, only it is not confusion but a lack of knowledge. We know from Gods word that we perish without his knowledge and that is what was happening to me and what happens to many people who lack understanding God’s fully not that I have arrived because I haven’t. The plan is staying on that journey with the Lord no matter what, no matter how cute he or she might be, it is staying in Gods perfect will and knowing him deep enough that you can differentiate between the feelings of love and destiny. This is where the lord has been training me and this is where I can now fall on my knees and thank him for helping me choose who is best for me according to his purpose for me life and I would not know this had I not submitted to his perfect will in my life.
So I want to encourage you to read this article with a ready mind for your life to be transformed. I am not saying to you what God has not taught me. I have been on a nearly two-year journey of singleness and it has been very rewarding, with so much wisdom that I would not have learned what I know if I decided to court/marry outside God’s timing. So this article is to help you realise that marriage is a great thing but it will not fulfil you. Only God, his word and his destiny for your life will leave you fulfilled and satisfied. It is only on that journey that we now who is best for us and who fits into God’s perfect will for us, it is there that we know ourselves and it is there that we understand the purpose of marriage which is not just for love and sex because within time those things might change but it is purpose in Christ. It is working together to glorify the father with your relationship so that others are inspired to come to Jesus. That is the main purpose of marriage to fulfil the righteousness of God throughout this earth and let’s face it, two are better than one. That way you each help each other fulfil your God given destiny which if God given is never self-centred but geared to improve the lives of others around our world. And since we are blessed children of our God I believe God will even give us the wisdom to make income and with his anointing and power on those things he shows us to do, will come with blessings. So I am going to list a few things that will definitely work for you. This is not a steps programme. These are principles that God has taught me through his word and have also transformed my life. So read on and be blessed.
1. Know God deeply
In order for us to know our purpose it is important that we now the lord, his Son Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit. The reason for this is simple. You were created by God, for God, and for his purpose and only he can sustain you and keep you whole. God knows everything about you. He knows your thoughts, your words, your desire, your hopes and wants and many more. He is everywhere and he is your father. We see this in Psalms 139: 1-6, 15-16
Vs 1-6: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”
VS 15-16: “…My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them”
We see in this scripture that the God created us and in Jesus Christ we can now have a great relationship and fellowship with God as sin came through the world through Adam which thus separate us and God but Jesus Christ came, the second Adam died for our sins and through that and us accepting him as our saviour can now have a great relationship with God, with eternal life peace, joy and righteousness. Once that is sorted it our responsibility to learn his word because it is a mirror that God has given us to know ourselves, but most importantly to know our mighty, great and wonderful God. Jeremiah 29:12-13 shows that when we seek the lord we will find him and when we find him we know him. The lord says to us, his people: “When you call me and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you search for me, yes, search for me with all your heart, you will find me.” The Lord wants us to know him intimately because it is in knowing him that we find our value and purpose. How do you seek God? Through prayer, and studying and meditating on his word. Knowing the lord is one of the ways that we can be strong on this journey called life. We see this in Ephesians 6:10 AMP where we are told to “…be strong in the Lord [draw your strength from Him and be empowered through your union with Him] and in the power of His [boundless] might” meaning through prayer we are empowered not only in getting what we want but also in what he will reveal to us. I have learned that Godly revelation knowledge give an individual power because when we act on the Rhema word of God, change comes, strength to get through life with ease but also to pursue our purpose. In union with the lord, in pure worship and honour to the lord, it is there that the lord will reveal to you what he has destined and called you to be. You can ask him or he will naturally reveal this wonderful secret to you because it is there that fellowship not just on your side but on also on his happens and there he reveals revelations about our lives, situations, hurts and disappointments and our individual destiny.
Psalms 25:14 in the Message translations is one of my favourite scriptures that captures this properly. It says: “Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him. With them alone he shares the secrets of his promises.” Such scripture reveals so much about God and how he works, it reminds us that we don’t have to struggle to have a great relationship with the lord, to have union with him and it shows us that pure love for him which comes through worship, loving God by doing his word and prayer. God will reveal secrets and truth about your destiny and purpose. He will reveal to you when to move forward and when to wait, but it takes effort to know him but the results are amazing as we see in psalms 34:10 which tells us that “…those of us who reverence the Lord will never lack any good thing and the reason for this is because in God we have everything we need. He is God, our mighty God who knows all things, can do all things and created all things so really in knowing God and having a deep relationship which naturally open doors for you that know man can shut. No wonder in Matthew 6:33 encourages us to “…seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” God wants to be your best friend and he cares about you and all that concerns you. Furthermore, he created you for good works before time began (Ephesians 2:10) which are in his perfect will but it can only be done and known through knowing his word (Romans 12:2) and him intimately (Psalm 27:4-6)
2. Knowing God reveals purpose, purpose helps us to know who to court and marry
Once the lord has revealed your purpose or assignment to you, this could be through you asking and seriously seeking him through prayer and fasting and as you dig deeper in word the holy spirit will start putting the visions together that will show your purpose and it is there that you pursue that purpose and the lord. Therefore, you talk to him about the visions he has shown you and you start as he leads you. It is in your purpose and visions that you are naturally positioned into Gods perfect will, it is there that you will know when to court and when to marry. You will know the right time to court someone, when they are the right person for you and the purpose the lord has put in your heart. As you grow in the lord you get to know what mate you need. I am not talking about carnal things or superficial things although there’s nothing wrong with having desires and attraction towards someone because this is important but the spiritual part of that person you are considering to court or marry matters, and even more Gods peace and approval to go ahead is the ultimate decider. We should not be afraid give such people over to God in prayer and he will let us know, but it is a choice that we make. God will not force us to date or marry anyone, it is our choice, but he will share his wisdom with us regarding such situations, and it is up to us to obey him, and take his wisdom, if we don’t then we are the ones who will suffer later one which the lord hates.
Purpose and knowing your destiny gives you a power to choose who will be best for you, who will help you become all that you were created to be. It is there that you share your purposes and ideas which is important because in some relationships some marry others that have no identity in Christ or purpose and they can become jealous of what you want to do, or worse they despise your dreams because it does not involve them. However, when you know your purpose you can share a life where both people work and support each other to become all that God wants them to be. In fact, it becomes one big vision where the man leads the big vision but both of you are fulfilled not because you are married although that should be the case but because you are doing and being who God called you to be and are receiving help and encouragement from the person who loves, believes in you the most which is your spouse. You are both now focused on fulfilling Gods plan for humanity through whatever’s means he has shown you.
However, when you meet one who is not purpose filled and you decide you will help them or change them, that courtship will have no direction or worse the one who has hopes and dreams will either resent the other for holding them back or they will go ahead and be who God called them to be without the other fully understanding what is happening which can cause division and discontent in the marriage. God has to be the number one reason for that courtship and marriage not just each other’s or the love that you both have for one another; it has to go deeper to the spiritual matters. Another reason why it is important to know your purpose before your court or marry is because of the first point I made earlier on in the article which is that you know without knowing who you are in Christ and who you were created to be in God, the relationship will have no direction and understanding of each other. First and foremost, the purposes as men and women in a marriage relationship but also as individuals that they start finding value in each other and not in God and their destiny which comes from God. They start to thinking that the other is maybe not the right mate because they are not happy not knowing that it is because they are not fulfilled spiritually with a deep relationship with the lord and are not acquitted with his purpose for him.
So I encourage you to take your time, and seek the lord about your future, who he created you to be and what he needs you to do now. It is in that desire that you will know who you are in Christ and what your purpose is. When you know your purpose, you will know what kind of people to have in your life but even so what sort of husband, or wife to have so that both of you can help each other to become to all that God created us to be. Another note here, marriage is not for everybody, it is for some, so this is not to say that everyone has to be married to fulfil their purpose but for a Christian that does, the above topics are to be taken seriously, and for those that don’t but are Christians it does not mean that we go on about in sin but we still live Godly lives free from fornication and all the other things that we know we should not do but rather are focused on the lord and his assignment. Either way I encourage you to know your calling and know God first.
Love you Sarah